terribly mistaken

Melbourne Movie theater, night.

Enter: KATY, all grins, as she is about to engage in a transaction with a person who speaks native English, for the first time in 2 months. She approaches TICKET CLERK, who looks incredibly bored.

KATY: Hello, I'd like one for Quantum of Solace, please (smiles genuinely).

TICKET CLERK: (unintelligible).

K: Hmm? (Slightly confused, but not deterred. After all, it is a bit loud).

TC: (louder) Any coupons or concessions?

K: Uh, no?

TC: Alright, that's one -

K: - Wait, I buy popcorn here?

TC: Coupons or concessions. You buy the popcorn inside.

K: (Still confused, but trying to pretend like it was misunderstood). Ooooooh, no. Well, I definitely want popcorn, but no.

TC: Alright (speaks through teeth), Where would you like to sit?

K: (Long pause, then) Wait, I can choose where I sit, here?

TC: Yes miss.

K: Uhm. OK... Isle? In the back?

TC: Alright. (Then. very slowly, with annoyingly dominant eye contact:) Your film is upstahs, take the lift on the left. (Hands ticket to visibly disturbed patron).

KATY takes the ticket and gets lost looking for the lift, which she knows to be an elevating mechanism of some sort or other, but only after she looks right does she find the elevator. Purchases popcorn and soda with minimal trouble, but for needing to repeat her order three times before the CONCESSIONS CLERK understands that she just wants a fucking diet coke and popcorn. Finally, ticket in one hand, and soda in the other with popcorn under the arm, KATY approaches the TICKET TAKER, and hands him her ticket for Quantum of Solace.

TT: Alright, Quant- oh, wait. This starts at eight THIRTY, miss.

K: Yes...

TT: It's only 8 o'clock.

K: Yes...

TT: (annoyed) The film isn't over yet, I'm sorry you'll have to wait.

KATY looks around to see there is no place to sit, let alone any place to stand without looking totally stupid standing there with her popcorn and soda and movie ticket in the middle of the empty lobby, and how much time do they allow to clean the place? When is a good time to come back? She decides to look around the lobby posters as though extremely interested, until trying again once a group leaves the theater, with 15 minutes before curtain.

NEW TT: Hello. Ah, theater on your left.

K: (Looking at ticket for the non existent seat assignment, and subsequently confused) Uh, sir?

NTT: Is there a problem?

K: Is there, an uh, seat assignment? (winces for fear of yet another crippling are-you-retarded-glare)

NTT: Ah, yea, I'm sorry, I ripped it. Here you are.

K: (relieved) Thanks!

NTT: No worries!

KATY sits in the theater to enjoy Quantum of Solace, from beginning to end, except for the song at the beginning, which totally sucked, and sounded worse than the alley cats in Bangkok fighting. Also was perplexed with the previews, which included one precautionary commercial depicting a girl cutting off her hand in a store because she didn't ask how to use the bread slicer, ending with "It Never Hurts To Ask." ; and a recruiting commercial for Massage Therapy School in Canada. Here KATY thought life and culture in Melbourne, Australia, would be un-interestingly similar to life in America. No extra credit given for figuring out what she thinks now.